My crush on Mark Leidner continues. To the point where I wrote him a fan letter. My very first. And he wrote back! Bless that man.
Charismatic Ambulance Driver
I’m a charismatic ambulance driver.
You make me French toast
and when you set the plate down
you kiss my neck
and I just stare and stare at you.
We’re tilling a field in Poland
when the clouds break open
and we throw down the reins of our plows
and make love in the wind and the mud
while the mules, mute, look on.
You are about to take a spacewalk
and I stop you in the airlock
by shouting your name
and as you spin around to face me
your hair splays out in the absence of gravity.
Not without this, I say
handing you your helmet.
It’s Texas and you’ve tricked me
into attending a bake sale.
We’re out in the desert, resting
in the shade a small cliff is creating
and you gently pat my stomach
and ask me if I am gay.
We’re driving through Atlanta
and it is the end of the world
and you point out the window
and I follow the pale curl of your arm
and the line extending from your finger to the moon
and the moon is full
and on fire.
because you can’t remember the meaning
of nonchalant, but I’m massaging
your neck, whispering,
It’s what you are.
You catch the flu but you refuse
to blow your nose because you’re scared
of looking sick. I finally get you to blow it
by offering you $5, and when you do
the most beautiful music comes out.
I call you sport
and you get a funny look in your eye
and say, Don’t call me that.
You split our bread into two parts,
the crust and the center,
and you give me the crust.
I finally say, I’m leaving you!
All you ever gave me were the wretched crusts!
and you look up at me,
tears brimming in your eyes, and say,
But the crust was always my favorite part.
We are trying to purchase a car
and you are heavy with child
and we are test-driving a small coupe
and I take a corner too fast, and your water breaks
and you tap me on the shoulder and say,
My water just broke. And I say, Is it okay
to drive this car to the hospital?
It’s not ours yet, you know.
We end up getting a different coupe.
You ruined that one.